Post by EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN on Apr 26, 2009 19:17:10 GMT -5
Making his way to the Cafeteria, Edward was walking rather slow today. His mind was filled of nonsense, or so it seemed to him. He was fighting with himself lately, trying to think of a decision of the question that laid deep into his mind. The question was one that he was trying to bring himself to an answer. He couldn't find an answer to it, he was struggling on what to decide. He knew his family would want best for Bella and he of course would automatically want the same as well. He wanted what was best for Bella and his mind wouldn't stop swirling around the two answers. He was having a harder time as it seemed. He pressed his lips together while he walked, still undecided for both things.
He wanted to leave, he wanted to run far far away at the moment. Being here in this school was more painful for him than anything else in the world. He couldn't take it. He completely lost Bella and he knew he had to stay away from her, he wanted to go to the other side of the world for the moment, but he knew he had to meet Alice at lunch. Alice threatened him and of course, he came anyways, even if he didn't want to more than anything in the world at the moment. He knew he could read the minds of others, he knew he could sense the thoughts flowing in his mind, but the only thing is, it went through one ear and out the other. He heard what people were thinking, but he wasn't paying any attention.
He felt the eyes of others staring at him, he was getting annoyed by it. It amused him at times when the girls would stare and melt but they never caught his attention fully like Isabella had in so many ways. She never realized how beautiful she was and when Edward would say she was, she would deny it. Edward never really knew why. He understood that he was attractive towards humans, he guessed it was the vampire charms that took him and made him look like a god. He didn't define himself a god, more like the opposite, a devil. A true evil. He knew he would end up in hell. It didn't matter to him but he wanted to keep on living as long as Bella remained alive. That was his mission, to let her keep living as a human being, like she was suppose too, like she deserved.
His eyes darted up as he read a girl's thoughts. The corner of his lips turned down. Why did all the girls in the school have to stare at him or at his family. He knew they feared them or they took no interest in them. He wondered what made Bella so different, how had she slipped through there protective bounties and joined the group. It was his fault. He allowed himself to get so close and now it's to the point where it would be much difficult to leave, to get over her. He was fighting again with the thoughts, thinking if he should stay in forks or if he should leave. He couldn't bring himself to do it and he cursed inside of his head wishing he was able to do so. It would have been much easier if he hadn't let things slip so closely together.
He wanted to leave, he wanted to run far far away at the moment. Being here in this school was more painful for him than anything else in the world. He couldn't take it. He completely lost Bella and he knew he had to stay away from her, he wanted to go to the other side of the world for the moment, but he knew he had to meet Alice at lunch. Alice threatened him and of course, he came anyways, even if he didn't want to more than anything in the world at the moment. He knew he could read the minds of others, he knew he could sense the thoughts flowing in his mind, but the only thing is, it went through one ear and out the other. He heard what people were thinking, but he wasn't paying any attention.
He felt the eyes of others staring at him, he was getting annoyed by it. It amused him at times when the girls would stare and melt but they never caught his attention fully like Isabella had in so many ways. She never realized how beautiful she was and when Edward would say she was, she would deny it. Edward never really knew why. He understood that he was attractive towards humans, he guessed it was the vampire charms that took him and made him look like a god. He didn't define himself a god, more like the opposite, a devil. A true evil. He knew he would end up in hell. It didn't matter to him but he wanted to keep on living as long as Bella remained alive. That was his mission, to let her keep living as a human being, like she was suppose too, like she deserved.
His eyes darted up as he read a girl's thoughts. The corner of his lips turned down. Why did all the girls in the school have to stare at him or at his family. He knew they feared them or they took no interest in them. He wondered what made Bella so different, how had she slipped through there protective bounties and joined the group. It was his fault. He allowed himself to get so close and now it's to the point where it would be much difficult to leave, to get over her. He was fighting again with the thoughts, thinking if he should stay in forks or if he should leave. He couldn't bring himself to do it and he cursed inside of his head wishing he was able to do so. It would have been much easier if he hadn't let things slip so closely together.
